Growing Up...it's up to You

I once made a toast at an old friend's 60th birthday dinner: "Growing old is non-negotiable. Growing up is a choice." 

He loved it.

It's similar to a quote from success coach Tony Robbins: "Change is inevitable. Progress is optional."

Amen to that.

No effort at all is required to get old. Our bodies do that quite naturally.

On the other hand, great effort, attention, and intention is required if we want to make progress. Or grow up.

How many times have you heard (or said) the old joke "What I will be when I grow up?" 

When someone in their fifties makes that joke, it is quite funny. And maybe a bit alarming.

The reason is, Growing Up is up to you.

What then is Growing Up? It means knowing enough about yourself that you know what you are good at. You know what problems you like to solve. You know what projects bring you the most joy. You know what your signature strengths are. 

You may even know what you are called to do in this life.

Have you started to grow up yet? It's no joke. Your happiness and your success depends on it.

Recommended Tool: A useful tool used by coaches globally is called GROW. Originally developed by several coaches in the UK including Tim Gallwey (who wrote about it in The Inner Game of Tennis), the four elements in the model provide a practical roadmap toward your future:http://learningvoyager.blogspot.com/2009/10/journey-coaching.html

Stumble and Fall? Look for Gold

The Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung wrote, “Where you stumble and fall, there you find pure gold.”

Spiritual writer Fr. Richard Rohr says: "Sooner or later, some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your present skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be, you must be, led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point, you will stumble over a necessary stumbling stone, as Isaiah calls it (Isaiah 8:14). You will and you must “lose” at something. This is the only way that Life-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey."

It's called the Path of Descent. It is an ancient idea, found in most of the world's religions.

In a nutshell, when Life knocks us off our horse so completely that we find ourselves down and out, before looking around for the next horse, take a good look around. You are in a ditch. It may not look like much down there. In fact it may seem like you have landed in you-know-what.

But spiritually speaking, the stumbling stone you fell over is something that has entered your life that is offering you an important gift, a lesson to learn.

Rohr offers these thoughts: "We must stumble and fall, I am sorry to say. We must be out of the driver’s seat for a while, or we will never learn how to give up control to the Real Guide. It is the necessary pattern. Until we are led to the limits of our present game plan, and find it to be insufficient, we will not search out or find the real source, the deep well, or the constantly flowing stream."

So what was it that you stumbled over that put you in the ditch? Spend some time thinking about that. It is hard to accept the setbacks and disappointments that come our way. But there is gold there.

For more of Rohr's work: https://cac.org/richard-rohr