What Can You Do Differently?

There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is, Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

Think about your own behavior patterns. Does the shoe fit? Is there some area in your life where you are repeating some pattern over and over while expecting different results to occur?

I recently read a very good article by HR executive Lee E. Miller who drove this point home for job hunters whose searches were dragging on and on. Miller’s main point, You have got to stop repeating things that aren’t working. Instead, you’ve got to ask yourself, What can I do differently?

Sounds like a great strategy. But how do you do it? And where do you get new ideas to replace your existing ones?

In his article, Miller offered a bunch of good ideas. Last night, as the guest speaker at a job search support group, I taught the attendees an old organization development procedure called the Start Stop Continue (SSC) Method as a way to generate new ideas.

It goes like this. Think of your goal. Then, ask yourself these three questions:

What could I Start doing that would increase movement toward my goal?

What could I Stop doing that would increase movement toward my goal?

What could I Continue doing, but with some modification and improvement, that would increase movement toward my goal?

I got the attendees into small groups to share and discuss possible activities in these three categories. They came up with a slew of ideas!

So how about you? Do you have a goal you are trying to reach, but find yourself making scant progress? Try the SSC Method.

Terrence H. Seamon is an organization development consultant who provides leadership and team development services to employers in New Jersey. Follow him on twitter @tseamon.

Growing Up...it's up to You

I once made a toast at an old friend's 60th birthday dinner: "Growing old is non-negotiable. Growing up is a choice." 

He loved it.

It's similar to a quote from success coach Tony Robbins: "Change is inevitable. Progress is optional."

Amen to that.

No effort at all is required to get old. Our bodies do that quite naturally.

On the other hand, great effort, attention, and intention is required if we want to make progress. Or grow up.

How many times have you heard (or said) the old joke "What I will be when I grow up?" 

When someone in their fifties makes that joke, it is quite funny. And maybe a bit alarming.

The reason is, Growing Up is up to you.

What then is Growing Up? It means knowing enough about yourself that you know what you are good at. You know what problems you like to solve. You know what projects bring you the most joy. You know what your signature strengths are. 

You may even know what you are called to do in this life.

Have you started to grow up yet? It's no joke. Your happiness and your success depends on it.

Recommended Tool: A useful tool used by coaches globally is called GROW. Originally developed by several coaches in the UK including Tim Gallwey (who wrote about it in The Inner Game of Tennis), the four elements in the model provide a practical roadmap toward your future:http://learningvoyager.blogspot.com/2009/10/journey-coaching.html

Stumble and Fall? Look for Gold

The Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung wrote, “Where you stumble and fall, there you find pure gold.”

Spiritual writer Fr. Richard Rohr says: "Sooner or later, some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your present skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be, you must be, led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point, you will stumble over a necessary stumbling stone, as Isaiah calls it (Isaiah 8:14). You will and you must “lose” at something. This is the only way that Life-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey."

It's called the Path of Descent. It is an ancient idea, found in most of the world's religions.

In a nutshell, when Life knocks us off our horse so completely that we find ourselves down and out, before looking around for the next horse, take a good look around. You are in a ditch. It may not look like much down there. In fact it may seem like you have landed in you-know-what.

But spiritually speaking, the stumbling stone you fell over is something that has entered your life that is offering you an important gift, a lesson to learn.

Rohr offers these thoughts: "We must stumble and fall, I am sorry to say. We must be out of the driver’s seat for a while, or we will never learn how to give up control to the Real Guide. It is the necessary pattern. Until we are led to the limits of our present game plan, and find it to be insufficient, we will not search out or find the real source, the deep well, or the constantly flowing stream."

So what was it that you stumbled over that put you in the ditch? Spend some time thinking about that. It is hard to accept the setbacks and disappointments that come our way. But there is gold there.

For more of Rohr's work: https://cac.org/richard-rohr

To Walk by Faith

Is something holding you back, keeping you from taking the chance you are thinking of taking? Is fear keeping you from growing as a person, from moving ahead in your life?

Fear is a natural thing. We fear the unknown. We may fear the possibility of failure.

But ask yourself, What is the worst that can happen?

Regarding fear, the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

We all have our fears to face. We all have adversity in our lives. Sometimes we wonder if we have what it takes to face these difficulties.

Some years ago, we attended the wedding of a cousin out of state. This poor guy has suffered his whole life from violent seizures. So much so, that we wondered if he would ever have a normal life. And there he was on the altar with his bride getting married.

That same day, we drove back to central New Jersey for the 50th birthday party of an friend from church. She had been battling cancer for years, with several close calls. Despite the presence of Death that walked with her every day, she was a joy-filled woman, living every moment to the full.

There is a Gospel story of Jesus walking on the water in the storm and Peter coming out of the boat to meet him:

But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, ““Why are you terrified?  Do you not yet have faith? Why did you doubt?”

Peter began to walk by faith, but then sank from fear of the water and strong winds.

To walk by faith means to trust in what you cannot see.

There is much in the world these days that can terrify us. What helps you to overcome fear and adversity in your life?


Terrence Seamon helps others who are in transition to have faith, move ahead, and achieve their goals. Follow him on twitter @tseamon, and join his alliance on facebook, Facilitation Solutions.