What Can You Do Differently?

There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is, Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

Think about your own behavior patterns. Does the shoe fit? Is there some area in your life where you are repeating some pattern over and over while expecting different results to occur?

I recently read a very good article by HR executive Lee E. Miller who drove this point home for job hunters whose searches were dragging on and on. Miller’s main point, You have got to stop repeating things that aren’t working. Instead, you’ve got to ask yourself, What can I do differently?

Sounds like a great strategy. But how do you do it? And where do you get new ideas to replace your existing ones?

In his article, Miller offered a bunch of good ideas. Last night, as the guest speaker at a job search support group, I taught the attendees an old organization development procedure called the Start Stop Continue (SSC) Method as a way to generate new ideas.

It goes like this. Think of your goal. Then, ask yourself these three questions:

What could I Start doing that would increase movement toward my goal?

What could I Stop doing that would increase movement toward my goal?

What could I Continue doing, but with some modification and improvement, that would increase movement toward my goal?

I got the attendees into small groups to share and discuss possible activities in these three categories. They came up with a slew of ideas!

So how about you? Do you have a goal you are trying to reach, but find yourself making scant progress? Try the SSC Method.

Terrence H. Seamon is an organization development consultant who provides leadership and team development services to employers in New Jersey. Follow him on twitter @tseamon.

Growing Up...it's up to You

I once made a toast at an old friend's 60th birthday dinner: "Growing old is non-negotiable. Growing up is a choice." 

He loved it.

It's similar to a quote from success coach Tony Robbins: "Change is inevitable. Progress is optional."

Amen to that.

No effort at all is required to get old. Our bodies do that quite naturally.

On the other hand, great effort, attention, and intention is required if we want to make progress. Or grow up.

How many times have you heard (or said) the old joke "What I will be when I grow up?" 

When someone in their fifties makes that joke, it is quite funny. And maybe a bit alarming.

The reason is, Growing Up is up to you.

What then is Growing Up? It means knowing enough about yourself that you know what you are good at. You know what problems you like to solve. You know what projects bring you the most joy. You know what your signature strengths are. 

You may even know what you are called to do in this life.

Have you started to grow up yet? It's no joke. Your happiness and your success depends on it.

Recommended Tool: A useful tool used by coaches globally is called GROW. Originally developed by several coaches in the UK including Tim Gallwey (who wrote about it in The Inner Game of Tennis), the four elements in the model provide a practical roadmap toward your future:http://learningvoyager.blogspot.com/2009/10/journey-coaching.html

Stumble and Fall? Look for Gold

The Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung wrote, “Where you stumble and fall, there you find pure gold.”

Spiritual writer Fr. Richard Rohr says: "Sooner or later, some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your present skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be, you must be, led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point, you will stumble over a necessary stumbling stone, as Isaiah calls it (Isaiah 8:14). You will and you must “lose” at something. This is the only way that Life-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let go of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey."

It's called the Path of Descent. It is an ancient idea, found in most of the world's religions.

In a nutshell, when Life knocks us off our horse so completely that we find ourselves down and out, before looking around for the next horse, take a good look around. You are in a ditch. It may not look like much down there. In fact it may seem like you have landed in you-know-what.

But spiritually speaking, the stumbling stone you fell over is something that has entered your life that is offering you an important gift, a lesson to learn.

Rohr offers these thoughts: "We must stumble and fall, I am sorry to say. We must be out of the driver’s seat for a while, or we will never learn how to give up control to the Real Guide. It is the necessary pattern. Until we are led to the limits of our present game plan, and find it to be insufficient, we will not search out or find the real source, the deep well, or the constantly flowing stream."

So what was it that you stumbled over that put you in the ditch? Spend some time thinking about that. It is hard to accept the setbacks and disappointments that come our way. But there is gold there.

For more of Rohr's work: https://cac.org/richard-rohr

To Walk by Faith

Is something holding you back, keeping you from taking the chance you are thinking of taking? Is fear keeping you from growing as a person, from moving ahead in your life?

Fear is a natural thing. We fear the unknown. We may fear the possibility of failure.

But ask yourself, What is the worst that can happen?

Regarding fear, the great Eleanor Roosevelt once said:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

We all have our fears to face. We all have adversity in our lives. Sometimes we wonder if we have what it takes to face these difficulties.

Some years ago, we attended the wedding of a cousin out of state. This poor guy has suffered his whole life from violent seizures. So much so, that we wondered if he would ever have a normal life. And there he was on the altar with his bride getting married.

That same day, we drove back to central New Jersey for the 50th birthday party of an friend from church. She had been battling cancer for years, with several close calls. Despite the presence of Death that walked with her every day, she was a joy-filled woman, living every moment to the full.

There is a Gospel story of Jesus walking on the water in the storm and Peter coming out of the boat to meet him:

But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, ““Why are you terrified?  Do you not yet have faith? Why did you doubt?”

Peter began to walk by faith, but then sank from fear of the water and strong winds.

To walk by faith means to trust in what you cannot see.

There is much in the world these days that can terrify us. What helps you to overcome fear and adversity in your life?


Terrence Seamon helps others who are in transition to have faith, move ahead, and achieve their goals. Follow him on twitter @tseamon, and join his alliance on facebook, Facilitation Solutions.

Let us welcome the new year

"Let us welcome the new year full of things that have never been." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

That quote from the great Bohemian poet Rilke is just the right inspiration for transitioners who are eager to start fresh in a new year.

It arrived in my In-Box today in an email from my colleague Anne Perschel of Germane Consulting. Anne's message is to pause and notice the space in-between, such as the space we are in right now as 2013 comes to an end and we await the start of 2014.

Artist and poet Jan Richardson calls such in-between spaces "thin places" where earth and heaven come closest together in our lives. In such places, the Irish believe that there is a thin membrane, a whisper of a veil.

In a New York Times article, travel writer Eric Weiner talked about thin places: "Thin places...are locales where the distance between heaven and earth collapses and we’re able to catch glimpses of the divine, or the transcendent or, as I like to think of it, the Infinite Whatever."

In a thin place, whether an open space like the Grand Canyon or an inside space like an ashram or a church, you may feel something inexpressible in words. But when you feel it, you know it is real.

You sense that it is opening you up, changing you somehow for the better. Maybe it is what this Apache proverb is saying: “Wisdom sits in places.”

So my suggestion for this in-between time comes from Anne's blog. She says, "I think we should pay more respect and attention to the space in between: What I say and what you say. How I feel and how you feel. The changing of the light. The hunger and the feeding."

This intentional noticing of the in-between spaces seems an appropriate spiritual discipline for anyone in transition. After all, when you are in transition, you are traveling in between.


Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday December 30, 2013

Can we have a Cease Fire in the War Against Christmas?

I just received a lovely holiday email from a consultant that said: "In this season of Light, Hope, Peace and Love.....May your holidays be filled with light and love and may your New Year be happy, healthy and prosperous!"

Why do we use such language at this time of year?

How about a cease fire in the war against Christmas?

Have you followed any of the media coverage on this news item? Apparently there are some anti-religious Grinches out there that just want to keep on eroding the "Christ" in Christmas.

Why? Who knows what their entire agenda is, but partially it's about the separation of Church and State.

To me, this whole kerfuffle is symptomatic of a deep program in our psychic wiring, one that has proven incredibly hard to change or root out. Call it the "I'm Right and You're Wrong" syndrome.

We learn it as children from our parents and school systems. Parents punish children. Grading systems that determine who will Pass and who will Fail.

We carry it into our organizations especially businesses. Top grading systems like Performance appraisals that judge and put people into boxes and determine salary increases for some and pink slips for others.

We enact it in our politics and in international relations. World leaders think they have to punish nations. Boycotts and bombs.

Blame, evaluation, control, criticism, punishment, and reward. This wiring in our selves truly has global reach.

Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, the inventor of Non-Violent Communication, has been working on this problem for decades, traveling around the world to regions of conflict, endeavoring to help warring parties to calm down, listen more appreciatively to one another, and make peace.

He says: "We are waking up to the fact that we are destroying the planet. We had better wake up. A growing body of people have a different vision of what the Good Life is all about. Dr. King and Gandhi have helped us to see another way."

When people can connect to what is most alive in others, life is more enjoyable. People can contribute to one another's well-being, rather than judgement and violence. Oneness, rather than divisiveness, is possible.

So here are some ideas that may seem rather counter-cultural in today's era of political correctness:

Put Christ back into Christmas - Christmas is a holiday where people go shopping, buying gifts for others. Why do we do this? Though many have forgotten, it's because Christmas started with a gift. The greatest gift. The gift of a baby to a mother and father who were fleeing for their lives, threatened by a tyrant king, in an occupied country.

Give from the heart - What is more enjoyable, Rosenberg asks, than contributing to another person's happiness and well-being? We need a radical change in consciousness based on compassionate giving, Rosenberg says.

Come together in joy - The well-being of others is our well-being too. Rosenberg asks his clients, What can we do to start living in peace?

Rosenberg says it's critical that we address this wiring. We have the resources. It's only our thinking that keeps the starvation and the violence going.

We don't need to dominate others and compete for everything, Rosenberg says. There's a more natural way to communicate and connect with others, a way that leads to abundance and joy.

If we can all learn to celebrate Christmas, we can fill our lives with happiness and joy.

Note: Check out Marshall Rosenberg on this youtube videocalled Vision of the Future.

Posted by Terrence Seamon on Monday December 23, 2013

The Mohawk Prayer of Thanks

The following came to me via the ODNet listserv, and I share it with you this Thanksgiving season. Peace and all good to you and yours, Terry

*******************************************************


The Thanksgiving Prayer from the Mohawks:
http://www.peace4turtleisland.org/pages/Thanks.htm

This prayer comes from the Native people of the Iroquois Confederacy. The Iroquois (or Haudenosanee) is comprised of six Native tribes: Mohawk, Oneida, Onondaga, Cayuga, Seneca and Tuscarora, all located in New York State and Canada.

The prayer is based on the belief that the world can not be taken for granted, and that we must thank all living things in order to align our minds with the natural world. This prayer is the backbone of the Iroquois culture. A faithkeeper is selected to share the words of thanksgiving at the opening and closing of social, government, and ceremonial events.

~*~ The People ~*~
Today we have gathered and we see that the cycles of life continue. We have
been given the duty to live in balance and harmony with each other and all
living things. So now, we bring our minds together as one as we give
greetings and thanks to each other as People. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Earth Mother ~*~
We are all thankful to our Mother, the Earth, for she gives us all that we
need for life. She supports our feet as we walk about upon her. It gives us
joy that she continues to care for us as she has from the beginning of time.
To our Mother, we send greetings and thanks. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Waters ~*~
We give thanks to all the Waters of the world for quenching our thirst and
providing us with strength. Water is life. We know its power in many
forms-- waterfalls and rain, mists and streams, rivers and oceans. With one
mind, we send greetings and thanks to the spirit Water. Now our minds are
one.

~*~ The Fish ~*~
We turn our minds to all the Fish life in the water. They were instructed to
cleanse and purify the water. They also give themselves to us as food. We
are grateful that we can still find pure water. So, we turn now to the fish
and send our greetings and thanks. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Plants ~*~
Now we turn towards the vast fields of Plant life. As far as the eye can
see, the Plants grow, working many wonders. They sustain many life forms.
With our minds gathered together, we give thanks and look forward to seeing
Plant life for many generations to come. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Food Plants ~*~
With one mind, we turn to honor and thank all the Food Plants we harvest
from the garden. Since the beginning of time, the grains, vegetables, beans
and berries have helped the people survive. Many other living things draw
strength from them too. We gather all the Plant Foods together as one and
send them a greeting and thanks. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Medicine Herbs ~*~
Now we turn to all the Medicine Herbs of the world. From the beginning, they
were instructed to take away sickness. They are always waiting and ready to
heal us. We are happy there are still among us those special few who
remember how to use these plants for healing. With one mind, we send
greetings and thanks to the Medicines and to the keepers of the Medicines
Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Animals ~*~
We gather our minds together to send greetings and thanks to all the Animal
life in the world. They have many things to teach us as people.
We see them near our homes and in the deep forests. We are glad they are
still here and we hope that it will always be so. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Trees ~*~
We now turn our thoughts to the Trees. The Earth has many families of Trees
who have their own instructions and uses. Some provide us with shelter and
shade, other with fruit, beauty and other useful things.
Many peoples of the world use a Tree as a symbol of peace and strength.
With one mind, we greet and thank the tree of life. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Birds ~*~
We put our minds together as one and thank all the Birds who move and fly
about over our heads. The Creator gave them beautiful songs. Each day they
remind us to enjoy and appreciate life. The Eagle was chosen to be their
leader. To all the Birds-- from the smallest to the largest--we send our
joyful greetings and thanks. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Four Winds ~*~
We are all thankful to the powers we know as the Four Winds. We hear their
voices in the moving air as they refresh us and purify the air we breathe.
They help to bring the change of seasons. From the four directions they
come, bringing us messengers and giving us strength.
With one mind, we send our greetings and thanks to the Four Winds. Now our
minds are one.

~*~ The Thunders ~*~
Now we turn to the west where our Grandfathers, the Thunder Beings, live.
With lightening and thundering voices, they bring with them the water that
renews life. We bring our minds together as one to send greetings and thanks
to our Grandfathers, the Thunders. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Sun ~*~
We now send the greetings and thanks to our eldest Brother, the Sun.
Each day without fail he travels the sky from east to west, bringing the
light of a new day. He is the source of all the fires of life. With one
mind, we send greetings and thanks to our Brother, the Sun. Now our minds
are one.

~*~ Grandmother Moon ~*~
We put our minds together and give thanks to our oldest Grandmother, the
Moon, who lights the nighttime sky. She is the leader of women all over the
world, and she governs the movement of the ocean tides. By her changing face
we measure time, and it is the Moon who watches over the arrival of children
here on Earth. With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to our
Grandmother, the Moon. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Stars ~*~
We give thanks to the Stars who are spread across the sky like jewelry.
We see them in the night, helping the Moon to light the darkness and
bringing dew to the gardens and growing things. When we travel at night,
they guide us home. With our minds gathered together as one, we send
greetings and thanks to all the Stars. Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Enlightened Teachers ~*~
We gather our minds to greet and thank the enlightened Teachers who have
come to help throughout the ages. When we forget how to live in harmony,
they remind us of the way we were instructed to live as people.
With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to these caring Teachers.
Now our minds are one.

~*~ The Creator ~*~
We turn our thoughts to the Creator, or Great Spirit, and send greetings and
thanks for all the gifts of Creation. Everything we need to live a good life
is here on this Mother Earth. For all the love that is still around us, we
gather our minds together as one and send our choicest words of greetings
and thanks to the Creator. Now our minds are one.

~*~ Closing Words ~*~
We have now arrived at the place where we end our words. Of all the things
we have named, it was not our intent to leave anything out. If something was
forgotten, we leave it to each individual to send such greetings and thanks
in their own way. Now our minds are one.



**************

CREDITS English version: John Stokes and Kanawahienton (David Benedict,
Turtle Clan/Mohawk) Mohawk Version: Rokwaho (Dan Thompson, Wolf Clan/Mohawk)

Original Inspiration: Tekaronianekon (Jake Swamp, Wolf Clan/Mohawk)
Copyright ? 1993 Six Nations Indian Museum and The Tracking Project.

Mohawk Prayer of Thanksgiving - http://aihc1998.tripod.com/mohawkpr.html